Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Sooo, like... What happened?

To the outside world, I am different. Something is wrong with me. I am not normal, and that can't just be. People can't just settle with that. They need an explanation. They need a reason. Simply existing is not enough. Something must have happened. 

I can always sense when this question is going to surface. Someone who I am meeting for the first time is having troubles with wrapping their brain around my appearance. They stumble across the words like "disability," "short," or "difference," but then out it comes like word vomit-- "So.. what happened?" 

I didn't eat my vegetables.
I sneezed too much as a baby. 
A heavy object fell on top of my head. 
I'm under a spell. 
I sold my growth plates on the black market.   

Actually, nothing HAPPENED. I feel like breaking out in Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" when someone asks that stupid and borderline-rude question. Asking what happened infers that I WAS normal, and now I am not. This actually reminds me of when a doctor of mine met me for the first time, reviewed my chart, and said: "So I notice that your height seems to be a little shorter than average. Has it always been this way, or is this recent?" 


There are a million better ways to ask me what happened, besides "What happened?" How about...
"Is there a reason for your short stature?"
"I'm curious. Would you mind explaining your condition to me?" 
"Is your condition genetic?"
"Is there a specific name for your disability?" 

Any variation of any of those questions will convey to me that you would like to know about my dwarfism. I honestly understand. I get it. Some people have never experienced dwarfism outside of fairytales and Disney movies. I may be the first little person they have ever seen, and I am more than willing to educate them. Believe me, after 19 years, I have the speech down. 

I was born with Achondroplasia, a form of dwarfism. Over 200 types exist, and mine is the most common. I have short arms and legs, an average torso, bowed legs, limited extension of my elbows, and other minor joint issues. My family is average stature, and actually about 80% of dwarfs are born into average families as well. During conception, a mutation occurred on Fibroblast Growth Factor Receptor 3, which is located on the 4th chromosome. On average, this affects about 1 in every 14,000 births. I can pass my condition onto my children, and those chances vary depending on who I have children with. I live my life similarly to anyone else and can do just about anything I want, with occasional accommodations. 

That's what happened. 

20 comments:

  1. OMG, I LOVE YOU! You have such a positive attitude! I too am a little person, and I have such a sense of humor that when people ask me bout myself I usually reply with the vegetable joke.
    I also love it when little kids are fascinated by me, usually when they point me out to their parents I quickly say hi to assure them that it's okay. One time this little girl got her hand slapped for pointing to me, I told the mother it was okay, and the mother told me "No it's not okay!"
    So I went up to the little girl who was rubbing her hand almost getting ready to cry, and I took her hand and started rubbing it while telling her it was okay and she started to smile so kissed her hand then looked at her mother, who was also smiling and told her, See, it is okay.
    Later I asked my mother how do I explain to parents that it's okay when their kids point me out to them, and my mother told me to tell them that their child is just fascinated by me and just wanted to share what they see.

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    1. What a wonderful way to handle that situation!!!

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  2. Thank you for this!!!My daughter is 6 months with Achondroplasia. I hope she has the same attitude as you as she grows up:) Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Humourous & inspiring. A joy to read.

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  4. I just found your blog and I LOVE IT!! I have a nearly 3 yr old daughter with diastrophic dysplasia and your blog gives me a bit of a window (maybe) into her future :) Love your attitude and hope to instill a similar one in my little one as she grows up.

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  5. You are simply beautiful and I love your positive attitude! My son was born with hypochondroplasia and just turned 1 yesterday. I often wonder how to teach him to respond to peoples inevitable reaction to him. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

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    1. Thank you, Andrea. That truly means a lot to me.

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  6. LoL...EXACTLY! I just read an (AH) parent of a lp post how education is ALWAYS what's needed when people ask questions "out of curiosity"...ummmm no! Parents (who are not lp's) can hang up their education hat whenever they please to leave the house without their child(ren)...I, on the other hand, and their children CANNOT. Silly-sarcastic-answers help us cope and it's not that difficult to come up with something more original than "what happened?!" Love your writing-looking forward to more.

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    1. Thank you, Kara. I agree! Sometimes I wish I could go out in public and not have to put any effort into educating anyone or worry about staring or rude comments. While I am comfortable talking about my condition with strangers who ask questions, it doesn't mean I enjoy it exactly. I often feel like there is a lot of pressure on us LPs to do the work when really, any AP can use Google and learn about dwarfism too.

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  7. Great post! I have a 6 yr. old son w/ Achondroplasia...I love that I have stumbled upon your blog!

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  8. Oh my you crack me up! My son Waylon has Kniest Dysplasia. He is almost 6 months old!! Do you mind if I add your blog to our website? I am starting a non profit for dwarfism awareness and this is the foundation's page (I'm the founder). Anyways, if you want to check it out it's www.thebowleggedcowboy.webs.com I'll be checking up on your blog again soon! :)

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    1. Sorry I didn't reply sooner, but yes! Feel free to share my blog with anyone who you feel would benefit from it. It has no privacy settings and is completely public so anyone can access it. Best of luck to you with your website and foundation! Your son is adorable!

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  9. I love reading your perspective! As an AH mom to a 21-month old with hypo, I would love to hear your thoughts on how I can help my daughter be as articulate and confident as you as she grows up. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

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    1. Thank you, Vanessa! Please do not hesitate to suggest ideas for posts if there is a topic you want me to explain more about! If there's anything I can do to help you understand what your daughter may be experiencing, please let me know!

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  10. Courtney....holy crap you are hysterical! Not to mention.....GORGEOUS!! Just found your blog. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I am Leslie, mother to two beautiful daughters- Emma 6 year old AH and Lyla 2 years old born with Achondroplasia like yourself. I have a blog also: lylaourlittlemiracle.blogspot.com
    Feel free to stop by and check out our family adventures. Happy Anniversary to your parents.

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    1. Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your kind words. I will be checking out your blog!

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